Hot flashes are the least of menopause, Ruefle tells the young woman she imagines might be reading. You will want to drive a knife through your heart; you will want to leave your lover, no matter how much you have loved them. You will feel as though your life is over, because it is. You will realize for the first time that your whole life people have looked at you because you are a woman and people look at women - but now, suddenly you are invisible. But then something magical happens:
"You are a woman, the ten years [of menopause] have passed, you love your children, you love your lover, but there are no longer any persons on earth who can stop you from being yourself . . . You would never want to be a girl again for any reason at all, you have discovered that being invisible is the biggest secret on earth, the most wondrous gift anyone could have given you.
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